Trying Times
by moonrainer
Summary: After the Battle of Hogwarts, Pansy Parkinson tries to reconnect with Draco Malfoy.


**A/N** All the characters and places you recognise here are based on J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter series. The story below, however, is entirely my own.

 **Written for** The Room of Requirement's _Underappreciated Character of the Month_ (June 2018 - Pansy Parkinson)

* * *

With a flick of her wand, Pansy let two glasses of firewhisky land on the table. Draco barely looked up.

Sliding onto the chair across from him, she realised that she wasn't nervous, not like she used to be. She wasn't a schoolgirl anymore; she was a woman now. And he was a man. They were two adults, sitting in a grubby, dimly-lit drinking hole somewhere in London.

The circumstances had made them grow up too soon. Pansy didn't want to think about what had happened in the past few months. Her last year at Hogwarts should have been glorious, but instead, it had been tainted with fear, mayhem, and death. It was better to close this chapter of her life, she'd decided, and to lock it away forever. No more dwelling on it; it was over.

She was glad she'd asked Draco to meet her. Just looking at him reminded her of the time _before._ Before, when life had been easy, when they'd laughed together, roamed the castle together… It seemed like a hundred years ago. She remembered being careless, happy, excited for the future, and how she'd felt about Draco, the smart, noble boy who had stolen her heart.

But Pansy could tell he was different now: He was quiet, reserved, and he looked gaunt and more pallid than ever. He seemed so unlike the Draco she'd fallen in love with. But did that mean her feelings for him had changed? She couldn't tell, which was the main reason she'd invited him here.

Draco, however, wasn't helping her shed light on her emotions. Since they'd met, he hadn't uttered a single word. Instead, he kept staring at the table, as if in deep thought. Nonetheless, Pansy wouldn't let that stop her; she was going to _try_. She longed to connect with him again, like in the old days.

"Draco." She paused, willing him to look at her, but he didn't meet her eye. "You know, I … I care about you."

Her words hung in the air. She desperately wanted to take his hands, but they were out of sight, hidden somewhere underneath his black robes. Sitting at the other side of the table, he was only a few feet away, and yet he seemed entirely unreachable to her. Pansy couldn't decipher his facial expression; it looked like a mask. She wondered if she knew him at all.

"Things have changed," he finally said after a few moments of silence. "You know that."

Pansy waited for him to go on, hoping he would take a step in her direction. She needed to hear his thoughts, so that she could understand…

Draco faltered. "It's… I can't-"

"Things have changed for all of us," she quickly interrupted, trying to save whatever there was to be saved. She didn't want to let it end, not like this.

Draco shook his head, and his tone became firmer. "I need to start over."

The words hit her like a blow to the chest, boring themselves straight into her heart. No, he couldn't mean-

Without another word, he got up. Mouth slightly agape, she watched him leave, feeling tears form in the corners of her eyes. He didn't look back as he stepped out of her sight, out of her life.

Pansy felt incredibly stupid. Having spent all this time musing about her own feelings for him, she hadn't considered that _he_ might turn his back on _her_. She should have known better.

With one quick motion, she wiped away her tears before they could run down her cheeks. No crying for him. Determinedly, she reached for her firewhisky and threw it down her throat. Then, she grabbed Draco's untouched glass and downed it as well, shuddering.

He might have left her, but that didn't make her weak. The knuckles of her fists turned white. _Time to move on_ , she thought.

* * *

 **A/N** Initially, I wanted to keep this short (300 words), but it seemed to write itself (whoops). I looooove underappreciated characters! Even though I don't particularly like Pansy, it was fun to portrait her as a strong female lead. Now I'm actually curious what she's going to do next.


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